goodbye

i am feeling a little blue. i'm not quite sure why. just feeling like i don't want to let go of my twenties quite yet. they have been so good to me. i've had some great experiences. living in san diego, for one. we moved there after our first year of marriage. let's just say prayers do get answered.

some of my greatest memories there are running on the beach after work, listening to the sounds of the ocean. ahh love that sound. i would then write in my journal and spend an hour watching the surfers, relaxing on the sand. i miss that place so much. i want to go back in a lot of ways, but i do love where i am at here. i guess i will always have an itch to be there.

one thanksgiving i decided to drive home for the weekend. this was before i knew what traffic really is. i had a fine time getting to my parents. but getting back. wow. i wanted to cry. oh yea, i did cry. what is supposed to be a quick 4 hour trip from vegas to san diego took me 9 hours. yes, 9 dreadful hours. i never did do that trip again. and in subsequent years had my most memorable thanksgivings. i am so thankful i had such incredible people to spend my days with.
our trip to the sequoias. that was an amazing trip. we camped for 4 days in the giant forest. i had seen pictures of these trees, but nothing compares to the real thing. when we drove into the park, i could not believe what i was seeing. it was incredible, the trees are ginormous. not only tall but huge around. i had such a great time on that trip. we cooked dinner over the fire and roasted marshmellows every night. i swear i could hear all kinds of animals roaming around our tent. yikes!!! we did some gorgeous hikes and sight seeing. it was such a blast. when we got home, what do ya know i found out i was pregnant. yipee! our months and months of trying finally over. we were going to have a baby.
i was sad to say goodbye, but excited for a fresh new start. joe had finished the BAR and we were heading back home. this excitement didn't last long. living with in-laws when you are pregnant is not fun. i was miserable and was confined to my one tiny room. blah. enough said.

i am so lucky to be a mom. i have had two beautiful daughters and they are amazing. i love them. they make me laugh and love like i never thought i was capable of. even through the challenging times, there is nothing i would rather be doing than raising these two little monkeys of mine.i have a delicious hubby. he treats me so good. i don't deserve it most of the time, (well, actually i do) but i am so glad to have him. we had a rough start. i honestly didn't think i would make it past that first year. but somehow we have survived. and i am so glad we did. now i know we can get through anything and that is comforting.
so i am ready for my fresh start. this is the opening page of another great chapter in my life. i don't know why i am all emotional about it. i'm weird. i asked my mom when i would stop feeling like i am 18, she said you don't. you will always have those same feelings you did when you were that age. i am so lucky to have such great people in my life. my sisters, my parents, and great friends.

okay i am done. thanks for listening to my rambling.